Four most common friendships blinders

Feb. 16, 2011 - PRLog -- “Social networks change the world and even more so our perception of it. We have hundreds of friends on Facebook and the word “friendship” loses its meaning. Often times this confusion compromises our relationships, health, finances or lifestyle.
The word acquaintance is very seldom used these days; friend became a replacement, while the essence of the relationships is completely different. When you run Google search for the word “friend”  you will get 9,2100M results. And what about the word “acquaintance”? Just 3.7M!”

“Take the first step towards having more control over your life”, advises Irina Avtsin, author of Rediscovering the power of No. “Start taking a closer look at who your real friend is and who is not. Think about the cases when you felt betrayed and think whether it could have been avoided. Doing so will help you to see where you need to change first in order to make your relationships with other people more genuine.”

    Avtsin shares with us the four blinders she finds the most common working with her clients. Making even small improvements in each of these areas will go a long way in improving your quality of life. With spring just around the corner it is a perfect time to do an annual clean up of non-virtual friends list:

•   Confusing friends and acquaintances. Doing so is dangerous for the following reason: In a moment of need you attempt to rely on someone who is not really a friend and ultimately get disappointed

•   Overinvesting in acquaintances.  This one is related to the confusion described above. Maintaining a friendship requires much more emotional resources than does acquaintanceship. Answering a crisis midnight call takes more effort than once a month casual lunch. When we are not aware of the true dynamics, what could have been a nice and pleasant acquaintanceship turns into a burdensome artificial friendship.

•   Never asking friends for help. We often fear that if we ask our friends for help it will make them feel uncomfortable and thus ruin the friendship. If something gets destroyed from such a request – then it was not a friendship to begin with. Genuine friendship will survive an appeal for help and a “Sorry, I can’t this time around” answer

•   Never doing an honest review of your friendships. Hopefully you check expiration dates on the pills in your medicine cabinet and groceries in your pantry every now and then. (And if you don’t - you better start now!) Yet, when it comes to friendships you often assume that Bob is a friend, since he shared his kite with you. Well, if your kid is in the first grade today – that friendship with Bob might have expired!


       March 8th in New York Irina and her business partner Oksana Rosenblum will co-facilitate women only discussions circle on the topic of friendships and disappointments. The participants will:
•   Learn how to mitigate, and sometimes even prevent friendship disappointments.
•   Learn basic techniques to improve quality of their relationships  by examining them more closely
•   Have fun and compassionate facilitated discussion about relationships and important people in their life.

For more details go to: http://www.letsdoarealitycheck.com/4.html

For more information and to purchase Rediscovering the power of No   go to   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004JU1MJK/ref=cm_sw_su_dp  or visit www.letsdoarealitycheck.com

Help Irina to chose cover for her upcoming book "Friends, enemies and everyone in between" and get a chance to win a complimentary copy! More details: http://personalconfidantency.blogspot.com/2011/02/cats-or...
UPDATE: Irina's new workbook is now available on Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004PGNE1W

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Decision and situation inspection and assessment

When you buy a house you probably would not close the deal without first having an inspection and an assessment done by an expert. It just makes sense – doing a reality check, before jumping in.