One of the most devastating things associated with having an alcoholic relationship with a wife or husband is the issue of being second place to their drinking habits. When a spouse is in love with the party life more than they are with you, this can be a difficult situation to accept.
I was married to a wife who had serious drinking problems and several narcotic addictions. Through attending thousands of support group meetings, over the past thirteen years, I've learned many ways of handling this type of situation.
First, let me start by setting the foundation of what you are dealing with. An alcoholic from the time they get up until they fall asleep has one thing bombarding their thoughts; "where will I get a drink from today." Unfortunately for us, this means we take second place to their addiction. I would have loved it if my wife would have had those types of never-ending thoughts about me, but she did not. Many nights and days, I was left alone because she was out having a party time with whom ever she could find to join her.
The only way to handle this issue of being second place to the bottle is to accept the situation for what it is. You have no other choice in the matter.
Now if you can grasp the truth in what I have just shared, you can now move to the next step. This is where you begin to do things that you enjoy rather than waiting around for the alcoholic spouse to fulfill your need to be happy. I am not suggesting that you get involved with someone of the opposite sex. I am suggesting that you find things that you really enjoy doing without the alcoholic. Learn Internet #1 - Alcoholic Spouse Support Group @ http://alcoholcure01.webs.com and find out how you can Quit Drinking Alcohol immediately!
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Start attending support group meetings
2. Volunteer to help others less fortunate than you
3. Start a business that you have always wanted to do
4. Rekindle some childhood hobbies
5. Take up exercising
6. Get a dog or cat
7. Spend more time with friends
It really doesn't matter what you decide to do, just start doing things you enjoy. An alcoholic spouse will never be able to fulfill your need to be loved. They just do not have it in them to do so.
They are not responsible for your happiness either. Being happy is something that only you can make happen. We should never look to the actions of others to make us happy.
There are hundreds of issues surrounding a relationship with an alcoholic that we have no control over. The one thing we do have control over is how we respond to their behaviors. When we learn how to detach, set boundaries, love them without conditions and how to let go, then we can handle many situations we will encounter in our relationship with an alcoholic spouse.
Holding a marriage together takes work and when alcoholism is involved it requires overtime on our part. Many people have learned how to live happy lives even while their spouses are actively drinking. This is something that requires learning how to live with them from others who know how. Learn Internet #1 - Alcoholic Spouse Support Group @ http://alcoholcure01.webs.com and find out how you can Quit Drinking Alcohol immediately!
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Sick and Tired of your drinking habits, can’t control your life anymore?
Learn Internet #1 - Alcoholic Spouse Support Group @ http://alcoholcure01.webs.com and find out how you can Quit Drinking Alcohol immediately!