Children cannot grow two feet taller overnight

Dec. 21, 2010 - PRLog -- Dear Dr. Fournier:

If a kindergartner is reading, writing and academically above kindergarten level, with great learning potential, would you recommend advancing him/her? I guess I’m looking for determining factors since such a move would surely impact the student’s remaining school academics and school years.

Debbie
Tuscon, AZ

Dear Debbie:

It is natural for a parent to shriek with delight when they are told that their child is performing above the level of his or her peers.  When this happens, the tendency is for the parent to then seek to match the child’s level by either “accelerating” the pace of the curriculum, or “promoting” the child to the next grade level.  Many parents are thrilled with this development, and they can then say with pride to other parents that their child is enrolled in an “accelerated” curriculum.
Be warned, however.  The promise of the accelerated curriculum is a dangling carrot, hanging there to entice the parent into taking the bait.  What is this bait you ask?  The bait is to fall for the erroneous belief that your child can grow two feet taller by tomorrow; the idea that teaching our children enough quantity is better than ensuring that the quality of learning is acceptable, or that the material is being taught with the depth that goes beyond passing tests.  

ASSESSMENT
The poignant line in the film “Summer of ‘42” comes to mind whenever I have to make a major decision: “For everything you take with you, you leave something behind.”
While loving parents may want to advance their child, the real question is not, “What will we gain?” but “What will we give up?”
For a child to have success in school, I believe they must have at least three things:
1.   Cognitive readiness to learn what is about to be taught.
2.   Behavioral readiness to carry out the actions considered to be appropriate responses to tasks and social interaction; and
3.   Emotional security to cope with new challenges without fear or humiliation or reprisals.
Your letter indicates that this kindergartner meets the first criteria and has something to gain by advancing a grade. But what will this child sacrifice, behaviorally and emotionally?
Until you can answer that question, you are not ready to make this decision that will affect long-term learning and personal development.

WHAT TO DO

Create an accurate scorecard of what your child will gain versus what he or she will lose in each category.
For example, despite potential gains, what will this child give up cognitively?
•   The calmness with which the child is learning now.
•   The time to explore other skills.
•   The possibility of turning above-average grades into an average or below-average performance at higher skill levels.
Behaviorally, the child may gain increased stress and may have to give up:
•   Family time due to increased homework and learning expectations
•   Time and opportunity to socialize with age-appropriate peers.
•   The opportunity for a 5-year-old to be treated like a 5-year-old – because, for the rest of the child’s life, he or she will be expected to learn, behave and demonstrate competency at the level of children one to two years older.
Emotionally, what will this child give up?
•   The opportunity to develop confidence, relish success, and fuel an inner desire to achieve continued success – all critical elements in what we call “motivation.”
•   The possibility of being a leader rather than a young follower.
•   The ability to learn how to connect with age appropriate peers without being overwhelmed or fearing rejection.
Decisions about school based solely on a child’s cognitive ability are what I call “off with their head” decisions – as if we guillotined them from the rest of their being.
The determining factor is what happens to a child’s heart. I have learned that the more we give our children, the greater our list of what we take away. As parents, we must make sure that anything we take away is to make their lives better – not more stressful and fearful.


CONTACT DR. FOURNIER

Have a question about education, education-related issues or your child’s schoolwork or homework? Ask Dr. Fournier and look for her answer in this column. E-mail your question or comment to Dr. Yvonne Fournier at drfournier@hfhw.net.

# # #

For 30 years, Dr. Yvonne Fournier has been helping children become more successful in school. Her column, "Hassle-Free Homework," was published by Scripps Howard News Service for 20 years. She holds her doctorate in education.