Media Training Question #26 – Why is Martha Stewart So Darned Mean?

Oct. 8, 2010 - PRLog -- I’ll be the first to admit it, Martha Stewart scares me.  I mean she really scares me.  

Martha Stewart was on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, and I’ll get to that in a minute, and the segment, or what I saw of it as I didn’t see it all for full disclosure, was weird, as is most of what Martha Stewart does, to me anyway.  I have never really appreciated her appeal, and as someone who studies the media and those whom comprise it, Martha Stewart has been in the mix a long time, save the time she spent in prison for perjuring herself on a stock sale.

Obviously the vast majority of people don’t see Martha Stewart the way I do because she has been freakishly successful in most every area of her business life even in spite of her legal setbacks.  She has obviously transcended whatever test one is measured with by consumers and passed with flying colors.  It makes no sense to me and perhaps this is one of those areas where you have to have female perspective that I just don’t have.  

As a media trainer, and I have also trained those who host media not just those that are guests to the media, I get the talent set that is demanded of you and I honor that skill set that is involved in being successful as a host of a show.  Martha Stewart must have that thing, right?

But yesterday on Oprah, Stewart took a jab at Oprah (see video) for not visiting her while she was in prison.  Oprah wrote her, but never took the time to visit her.  Martha Stewart was fast to say many people, some famous, did visit her but was also fast to point out that Oprah was probably too busy to visit, and said it in less than an “I understand” kind of way.  Oprah’s reaction was physical, literally.

The reason this caught my attention is that as a media trainer I am always looking for examples to share with my clients in the private newsletter I send to them of what to do and not to do.  This will be sent out later today as what not to do.

What Martha Stewart did was rude and disrespectful to do in a public setting, and I’m pretty sure I know why she did it.  This is a conversation that should have happened privately, if at all.  That Oprah took the time to write her is in my opinion enough, but not to Miss Mean.  

This is really a study of women who are on two very different paths.  One path is heading to the sky while the other path is quickly fading and struggling to survive.  What Martha did was force a difficult situation and forcing a conversation about it.  It’s called seizing the moment for a publicity stunt.  And it worked.  People are talking.

Martha Stewart recently moved her show to the low rated Hallmark Network where Golden Girl reruns get better ratings than her live daily show.  Martha’s mass merchandise is slowing fading away on store shelves around the country, and frankly, it looks like Martha Stewart’s day in the sun in setting quicker than she is comfortable with.  So she goes on Oprah’s show and grabs some headlines in hope that it will get her a few viewers.  I doubt it will work.

If you watch the video what you will see is some envy, seriously.  You will see an aging domestic diva struggling to make it work for one more year.  You will see a gracious Oprah stunned as if slapped by the rudeness of Martha’s remark.  It’s not good television.

Again, maybe it’s just me.  I don’t think Martha Stewart is a nice person.  I don’t find her welcoming and never have.  If I were to counsel her for image I would start with softening her tone and expanding her compassionate nature, if she has one, and I’m not convinced she does.  As a media trainer there is a lot wrong with the way Martha carries herself, but as I am saying this as she is financially set for a few lifetimes, so I could be totally wrong, but I don’t think I am.

I believe Martha Stewart is a bully and I believe her behavior yesterday was bullying.  I’m sure she is jealous of Oprah, and many are, but it doesn’t have to manifest itself in such disrespectful ways, does it?

I don’t feel bad for Martha Stewart at all.  She was caught lying, and did her time.  Fair enough.  She was able to find her way back and has more than compensated herself financially for that lost time, but I see no gratitude in her at all.  I don’t see someone who appreciates that Oprah gave her one of the few precious hours Oprah has left before she moves on to OWN.  What I did see was sad and mean, period.

People who are invited into our homes via the television are our guests, and they are only welcome as long as we enjoy their company, which most likely explains why her show is doing so poorly in the ratings.  Just as we don’t invite people to dinner who we don’t enjoy any longer, you can bet that Martha Stewart is not being invited into many homes these days because she is just mean and doing what she did to Oprah yesterday won’t help her cause, in fact it hurt her cause.

If you are fortunate to be invited into someone’s world, either as the host of a show or the guest of the host, try to remember that there are rules that need to be honored and that to be a good guest or a good host requires consideration and professionalism, and it wouldn’t hurt to show some gratitude as well.

Martha, if you’re reading this, and I doubt you will, one of the things that I held close to my heart the entire time I was fortunate enough to host my own nationally syndicated radio show was the simple idea that I had to give people a reason to invite me into their lives every single day.  That required me to show respect and gratitude to them and to my guests.  Try it sometime.  It might help, that is if it’s not too late for you.

Oh, and consider apologizing to not only Oprah but to her audience as well.  You were wrong.

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Tony has spent the better part of the past two decades in and around the media. As the host of his own nationally syndicated radio programs for 15 years, Tony has interviewed over 25,000 guests and appeared as a guest on over 800 radio and national television shows. He founded of his own public relations firm and he went on to author two books and became a “go to” authority on a myriad of issues from weight loss to self empowerment; from politics to pop culture. Tony’s list of media training clients number over 2000, many of them well known celebrities and authors. He often works under confidentially agreements and enjoys of the challenge of helping people discover their voice.
Tony is respected and well known for his honesty and willingness to do what it takes to get to a core message. He works tirelessly with his clients and advocates for his clients in finding the most passionate and profound tenets of their message and then giving them the tools to deliver that message.