Six Tips to Empower and Inspire Children for Success in Life

Feb. 12, 2010 - PRLog -- Every parent wants to see their children grow up to be happy, independent and successful adults.  But in today’s world where attitudes of entitlement prevail, this task can seem daunting. Much the same way that parents teach children to be safe by looking both ways before crossing a street, they must also teach them to take responsibility for their own actions and success at every crossroad in life.  Irvin Schorsch, President of Pennsylvania Capital Management, offers parents these six ideas to teach children life skills that will empower and inspire them to grow up to become successful adults.

1.  You can’t always get what you want.  Children should be taught at an early age that they cannot have something simply because they want it.  Parents must help children learn the difference between needs and wants. Food, clothing and shelter are necessities.  Video games and cell phones are not.  While parents may want to give their children everything they desire, many times it’s best to just say “no.”  Don’t feel guilty; “no” is not a four-letter word.

If parents give in every time a child wants something, he or she will come to expect that immediate gratification all the time.  That can create a model for future impulse buying as adults, which replaces rational purchase decision-making processes in our brains with irrational acts of self-gratification.

2.  Life is unbelievably expensive – and kids don’t know it.  There is a cost to most everything in life.  Parents can help their children in many ways; even as early as age 6 or 7, understand how much things really cost.  For instance, when dining out, ask them to choose items from a restaurant menu that are within a certain dollar range.  Another way is to set limits on how much they can spend for a simple treat or snack at the grocery store or help them choose a price-appropriate gift for a birthday party.  Or, start a family coin jar in which everyone drops in their spare change.  This will help them visualize how many nickels and dimes it takes to get to twenty or fifty dollars!

3.  Childhood is an entry-level job. The majority of adults must work to make a living.  Parents can help their children understand this concept by giving them small, age-appropriate tasks like putting away their toys, making their beds, walking the dog or clearing the table after a meal.  When they put forth the effort to successfully complete these “job responsibilities” consistently throughout the week or month, their reward could be some additional play time, a small allowance or other relevant indulgence.  
Rewards should be given when children perform these tasks consistently, not just occasionally. The experience they gain from this type of responsibility and reward system at an early age at home will help them as they enter the “real” work world.

4.  There are no minuses in learning how to problem solve.  When children are given math problems for homework, they apply the principles they’ve been taught to find the answers.  When adults face problems in life, they too must use the principles and skills they’ve learned to find a resolution.  It’s important for parents to allow children to problem-solve on their own.  Giving them the answers may seem easier, but just as in math, they won’t learn if they don’t solve the problems themselves.  A better alternative is to help them identify possible solutions, anticipate the outcomes and then let them make their own choices.   This can be as simple as talking about the possible alternatives for activities they want to do on the weekend or discussing choices they could make to resolve a conflict with a friend or sibling.  

5.  Gotta have skin in the game. While everyone loves receiving gifts, there is often a greater sense of enjoyment and fulfillment when we invest our own time and effort into achieving or acquiring something we desire.  Even if parents can afford to pay for something in full, they can help children realize this personal sense of fulfillment through cost sharing.  

6.  Hold kids accountable for their actions and they’ll act better.  Children should be expected and encouraged to accept full responsibility for their actions.  When they do the wrong thing, make a bad choice or disobey a rule, there must be a consequence.  Life generally works that way.  At school they may get a detention; at work they could get a warning or be fired.  At home parents can require a time-out or loss of privileges.  Knowing and accepting that there are consequences for their actions helps shape positive behavior.  

By setting expectations and boundaries, as well as implementing reasonable and relevant consequences and rewards, parents can help children develop a sense of self-confidence and self-reliance.  They’ll learn to use sound judgment and become independent, capable and self-sufficient.    

About Irvin G. Schorsch, III

Irvin G. Schorsch, III, is President of Pennsylvania Capital Management.  In 1995, Irvin founded Pennsylvania Capital Management with the entrepreneurial vision to build a firm centered on the client first and foremost and helping people crystallize their thinking about the future of their lives and financial goals.  Irvin graduated with honors from the Commerce and Finance Division of Villanova University and received the advanced certification as a Certified Financial Planner™ from the College for Financial Planning in Denver, Colorado.  He achieved the Certified Investment Management AnalystSM designation through the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania in conjunction with the Investment Management Consultants Association and has earned the Accredited Investment Fiduciary® professional designation, awarded by the Center for Fiduciary Studies, which is associated with the University of Pittsburgh.

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Pennsylvania Capital Management provides a wide variety of wealth advisory services. Using our Strategic Wealth Advisory Process, PCM assists clients in creating and implementing a strategic plan that is uniquely personal and enables them to provide for their family and future generations, retirement, college education, charitable giving, and/or business succession. Visit Pennsylvania Capital Management at www.pcmadvisors.com.