The Latest Threat to Healthy Relationships: Technology

Feb. 10, 2010 - PRLog -- Technology provides its users with easy and portable ways to make our lives more convenient, including online shopping, mobile phone applications and texting. But can these technologies actually be providing something more sinister, and potentially devastating, to seemingly healthy relationships?
“Over the past five years I have seen more and more clients whose lives have been turned upside down by shattering discoveries,” says Susan Melchior, an Orange County marriage counselor and therapist with over 25 years of experience in her field. “Whether they’ve found a text or an email with evidence of an indiscretion, or stumble across a website with disturbing content, I’ve seen how technology can be the most invasive and silent threat to marriage and relationships.”
It’s easy to think that this is a phenomena just affecting the rich and famous or teenagers. Few people with a television or access to news haven’t heard about Tiger Woods and how his wife Elin found evidence of his infidelity through his text messages. Teens are frequently texting sexually explicit messages and pictures to each other, which has been termed “sexting.” But these two groups are not the only guilty parties engaging in technology-based sexual activity.
“Over the length of my career, I’ve seen my share of marriages stressed by a variety of trends, including fast-paced lifestyles, women entering the workplace versus dedicated care of the children, families dealing with divorce and remarriage, and economic stress,” Susan explains. “But this latest trend seems to be growing fast—I see at least one situation per month involving secret communication or interaction through technology.”
The flip side of free speech and advanced technology is the opportunity it provides the voyeurs and potential adulterers to foster secret relationships in the safety and privacy of their workplace or home. Anyone who uses the internet at all is aware that pornography sites are rampant, but seemingly innocuous sites like Craig’s List provide a place for individuals to advertise for “casual encounters,” or, in other words, meeting for sex without any strings attached.
By using secret email accounts, much of this activity can be hidden from partners. “People are doing this while their partner is in the next room,” reports Susan. “They are completely unaware that this home—and marriage—invasion is happening while they sleep.”
Susan Melchior is a certified Marriage and Family Therapist who now specializes in sexual addiction and the internet. A member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Susan has held a private practice in Irvine and Mission Viejo since 1985. Susan has been a contributing columnist for the Orange County Register, writing on relationship therapy, and has also created and developed the Re-entry Women’s Studies programs at Santiago Canyon College.
For more information on Susan Melchior, visit her website at www.therapyhelp4u.com, or call (949) 760-7717 to arrange an appointment.

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