"Can't you EVER put the toilet seat down?" is probably one of THE most common complaints that women have on a regular basis about the men in their lives.
Interestingly enough, I don't recall any man I know ever saying to the woman in his life "Can't you EVER put the toilet seat UP?"
What usually happens when a woman yells this retort to her man is he'll either fume quietly on the inside or give her a sharp dig back like "well, you're always leaving your underwear hanging over the shower!"
Sound familiar?
This is called cross-complaining...and what usually starts as a smart remark very quickly escalates into an explosive argument.
The result?
Usually one or other of you sulking for a while - ranging from minutes to days - or - if you're like Brad Pitt you jump on your motorbike and head to the nearest bar - or at the extreme one of you says something in the heat of the moment -- culminating with one of you declaring "it's over" and walking out the door. .
Truth be told, these innocent remarks are usually an indication that there are unsettling unresolved feelings brewing underneath aching for an outlet.
Sometimes it's a test to see if it's safe to talk about these deeper issues bothering your partner but if you react badly quite often the one you love also goes on the defensive and the attack.
As an alternative you may want to try active listening where you feed back what your partner is saying to you to show them that you understand what they're saying.
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