Sally B. Watkins M.S.W.
Legions of women believe the fairytale fantasy of relationships and are chronically disappointed with their good enough man. Conflict and misery are the result says Sally Watkins in her new book Change Your Mindset Not Your Man. A woman stuck as a little girl princess longing for a prince derails many couples from the fulfilling life they seek.
In a groundbreaking departure from other fix-it books, Ms. Watkins describes how a relationship can provide a woman with an enormous opportunity to develop a mature resilient self. By stopping the complaining and blaming and looking at her own beliefs a woman can gain an enlightened mindset. Removing the pressure to be her everything can make a normally flawed guy acceptable and lovable. Analyzing the deficits from past relationships and childhood wounding will help her see what she may realistically expect from a partner. Reworking distorted thinking and negative stories will give her more control over her moods and feelings and not project all her pain on him.
Instead of a princess waiting for the prince to arrive, an empowered woman will lead by example using successful relationship tools and discover the no-conflict mindset. “After all,” says Sally Watkins, “Women are the ones biologically and socially geared for relationship who set the high standards in their marriages. It is incumbent on them to model the acceptance, empathy, consciousness, and self responsibility that will create a peaceful life together.” Her book and her website at www.sallywatkins.net show them how.
When the would-be princess gets off the hoping and waiting throne she will begin to take the reins of her own life and dreams. Surprisingly her guy may find her more interesting when she stops nagging him to be what she wants and decides to matter to herself. If she stops letting others drain her energy, and learns to short circuit the soft addictions like TV, phoning, shopping, and other time fillers and do the hard job of finding the life she erroneously thought would happen by falling in love, she will discover the contented mindset.
In a positive, quirky, sometimes humorous vein, Ms. Watkins uses examples from her own life and those of the clients she has treated in her twenty year practice as a psychotherapist. Mining the best techniques from cognitive behavioral therapies, and mindfulness practices, Change Your Mindset Not Your Man is a refreshing new study of relationship problems and a most surprising way to resolve them.
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