When an abusive man is about to lose control—when his wife tries to leave him—he is most likely to react violently, even if he has not been violent before. Seventy-five out of a hundred women who are murdered by their husbands are killed during or after their escape.
“Jasmine Fiore is the latest example of the most predictable murder of women: she was killed wanting to escape an abusive husband. These acts become preventable when you can predict them. You can predict them when you know the warning signs and what they mean,” says author Anna Moss.
Ryan Jenkins has looks and the privileges of wealth. The early evidence shows already that he is a textbook abuser. He succeeded because no one around him recognized the red flags.
• He is angry. He was cited for battery less than three months after marrying Fiore. Early reports suggest similar behavior in his past.
• He is controlling. The incidents witnessed by others suggest Jenkins sought to control his wife’s every move and reacted when he could not control her.
• He is jealous. Fiore’s friends report that she hid a phone from her husband for fear of being cut off from family and friends.
True to form, Jenkins’ family is refusing to speak to the press. As Moss points out in her book, abusers are made, not born. The family that creates an abuser keeps secrets and denies that anything is the matter. Withholding and denial are more red flags. When faced with evidence, abusers will deny, justify, lie or murder to avoid accountability.
Every abusive relationship follows a pattern of escalating tension that climaxes in abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, etc.) followed by a quiet phase. Women often get sucked further into abuse because the quiet phase kindles hope in their broken hearts. They begin to hope again. Fiore had had enough and confided to a friend that she was “in over my head” and wanting to escape.
The warning signs of dangerous people and relationships have been decoded and can be learned. The ability to see red flags requires specialized knowledge. Age, logic and intuition are not enough. Moss’ new book, RELATIONSHIP RED FLAGS cuts through misinformation and stereotypes. This easy-to-read, gritty guide is filled with hundreds of detailed examples as well as the encouragement that only a survivor could provide. www.relationshipredflags.com
Anna is a superb interview who will inform your audience with insights that will benefit them today and for the rest of their lives. To schedule an interview contact the author at anna@relationshipredflags.com Bio and Q&A available.
