Sometimes a break up happens for a reason and getting back together may not be a good idea if there are unresolved issues that will creep up on you in the future. However, there are many things you can do if you think that the break up is unnecessary and that you are breaking up over slight misunderstanding. Below are a 7 steps action plan to help you get back with your ex:
Chances are, your ex is the one who wanted the break up, and you did not have any choice but to get dumped. Well, this needn't be the case. In the scenario of a dumper-dumpee relationship, you are the unwanted one and this would make your ex think that you are less worthy than, say, a new lover.
What you need to do right from the beginning is to agree to the break up. Tell your ex that he or she is right, that breaking up is the best option out, and that you had wanted to suggest that for sometime now. Whoosh! You have leveled the playing field. Your ex is going to be intrigue, curious, maybe sad and even angry because you are planning to dump him/her! People want what they cannot have....and in this case, you are not "have-able", not unwanted. Powerful, isn't it?
Stick To It
Because you told your ex that you wanted the break up, it doesn't look very good on you to make desperate calls in the middle of the night sobbing your heart out and begging to be taken back. In fact, it will blew your cover, confirm to your ex that dumping you is the right thing to do and that you are less worthy.
Remember, you are supposed to be "un-have-able"
Get Over It
If you need to put on a brave front, it is okay to crawl back into your shell and wallow in self pity afterwards, right? Well, as long as you know what you are doing, you can take sometime alone to nurse your wound. A word of caution though: some people can get depressed this way and get addicted to self pity.
You don't want to be looking at old photos and reminiscing about the old gifts that you received from your ex while crying yourself to sleep at night. Give yourself a deadline to break away from sorrow and then stash away all the things that could lead you to think about your ex.
Get External Support
Now is the time where friends and family support comes into play. Immerse yourself in their lives and soak in the energy they bring so that you can stop concentrating in your own sadness. Hanging out with others is also an opportunity for you to meet new people in your life, which can be a good distraction or at least increase your marketability in the eyes of your ex.
Treat Yourself Better
You can rejoice now that you don't have to put your ex first and then construct your life around this person. You are once again single (although it's only temporary) and you can focus on just loving yourself. That means not having to consult your lover when choosing an outfit and having the whole tub of ice cream all to yourself.
What's better, you should give yourself a makeover and shake away your sloppy self that is a result from years of being part of a couple. Shallow as can be, this is a direct approach that can lift your self esteem as well make your ex regret the break up.
Reach Out To Your Ex Again
Once you have done the makeover, contact your ex again. This time, keep it casual and friendly and show that you have moved on and is very happy with your current life. This is a fresh start, as the two of you have put past arguments behind and proceed to be friends again. But of course, you want more to it...
Keep The Attraction Alive
Your ex will naturally wonder whether you have really gotten over the break up, or is just acting. Your ex may secretly wish that you still love him or her, yet disinterested if you let it be known too early.
Your best bet is to keep the other party guessing and let them be the one who make the move. To speed things along the way, talk about the good experience (and only the good ones) that you once shared and laugh over it.
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Although this is the overview plan to win your ex back, you need to know how to react to your ex's unexpected responses, what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Also, there are things that you should avoid such as crying and go running back to your ex when the other party show some interest.
For the complete guide on this action plan, go to http://www.WinningExBack.org/