"I am quite happy to be in a loving family, recently married to Michael Bacolas. Michael has 4 children, who are all psychologically adjusted and treat their father with a great deal of respect and love," remarks Twalla Robertson to her new marriage.
"It's as different between night and day with my daughter, Kalin," Twalla sadly explains.
Kalin grew up with her father, David Wynne, an abusive father who has had Child Protective Services called several times for bruises and other verbal abuse.
"That is in the past now with Kalin and her father, but what is sick is that poor little Kalin chooses to stay with the abuser. That is her choice. My choice, I'm not going to be a victim of psychological abuse, "states Twalla Robertson.
Twalla tried to gain full custody of Kalin, but Kalin chose to stay with her father, who has a history of physically and psychotically abusing their common daughter.
Ms. Robertson has tried by overcompensating with Kalin, but the personality David Wynne fostered with Kalin has set in, and Kalin is content to live with David.
She hates her mother, which is devastating to Twalla.
"One parent should never turn a child against the other parent. That is what happened to my little girl."
Then the psychological abuse of the child against the parent began.
Financial abuse
* stealing money or parent's belongings (sometimes referred to as "borrowing" without permission)
* selling possessions, their own or the parents'
* destroying the home or parents' belongings
* demanding parents buy things they don't feel they can afford
* incurring debts the parents must cover (e.g. as a result of damage to or theft of others' property)
Parents face tremendous ongoing pressure from the culturally pervasive idea that they should provide their children with material possessions. While most teens try to persuade their parents to provide them with the latest in brand-name goods, some abusive teens capitalize on their parents' feelings of obligation and inadequacy by attempting to force them to spend far more than they can afford
"That's exactly how Kalin treats me and it kills me, I love her so much. What did Michael do with his kids that I didn't?"
Well, according to Michael Bacolas, he spanked them. End of story. He also loved them, but he didn't allow for any psychological abuse and did not foster parental rivalry, quite the contrary, Michael (who by the way raised his four children ALONE WITHOUT ANY HELP), Michael always fostered a relationship between his ex wife and his children.
"I'm a victim of parent abuse," Twalla begins crying when explaining how Kalin treats her.
Many professionals believe that parent abuse is increasing in our society. Few statistics are available to support or contradict this belief. Police records do not specify the relationship between the victim and perpetrator in charges of assault, and the Young Offenders' Act prevents access to information on charges against minors. Hospitals, shelters and other institutions such as child welfare and adolescent mental health agencies and schools, where we would expect to hear reports of parent abuse, often do not recognize record or report the problem.
Serious mental disorders
In some rare instances, adolescent violence is a symptom of a serious mental disorder, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, these disorders are often difficult to diagnose.
"I dragged myself and Kalin to the counseling center at Arizona State University, trying to get help. Their main message was the problem stems from my daughter's relationship with her father, David Wynne. I went to a number of very good people in this city, and they all concurred. What do you do when your child exhibits signs of psychotic behaviors, but the custodial parent will not take any part of a treatment plan?
Twalla Robertson quotes what was told to her at ASU: The greatest roadblock to change is the hopelessness that abused parents feel and the inertia that results from their despair. Parents of aggressive adolescents appear to be either paralyzed into an emotionless stupor or activated to perform a set of ritualized reactions in which they helplessly rage against the tyranny of their children.
However, until mentally ill children are properly diagnosed, parents struggle to understand their behavior.
"I can't handle the abuse, the lies, the internet blogging, the hate David is fostering, the meddling, using Kalin as a tool for an ex lover to attack me, my family, and my business." Stated Twalla Robertson.
"This abuse is over. I will pay my child support, keep Kalin's insurance in place, but I do not plan on seeing my daughter again until she is 18. That is both of their faults and they need to take responsibility for that. I am not going to be abused by my daughter and my ex husband ever again, "shares a stern, but sad, Twalla Robertson.
"What brightens up my day is these four kids, the Bacolas children, I'm not even their mother, and they love me with all their hearts and all their souls. I wouldn't waste that for a moment, nor will I ever take that for granted. Kalin will come alone, or she won't, but my life is going on as I know that I have been, and always will be, a good mother."
Twalla Robertson is a survivor and we should all take our hats off to such a strong and courageous woman.
