Relationships between generations benefit everyone. Children get a better sense of who they are and where they've come from, have higher self-esteem, even better grades in school. Parents are often less stressed when there's an active, supportive grandparent in their children's life. And older people live longer, healthier lives, with less memory loss and depression, and are much happier when they're actively involved with the young.
"These relationships give you things you can't get anywhere else," says Legacy Project Chair and intergenerational educator Susan V. Bosak. "They make us feel connected -- not only to each other, but to something bigger, to the flow of life, to the past and to the future."
Bosak says her interest in intergenerational connections started with her own close relationship with her grandmother, who inspired Bosak's award-winning book "A Little Something." With more than half a million copies in print, this heartwarming story about love and legacies across generations has become a popular Grandparents Day read-aloud in families and schools. It has won six national awards, including Parents' Choice. The book is illustrated in richly-detailed watercolors by artist Laurie McGaw.
In the story, every time a young girl visits her grandmother, the visit ends with the grandmother's familiar words, "I want to give you a little something..."
"Sharing a story together and seeing where it takes you is a great way to start to bring grandparents and grandchildren closer," says Bosak. "Anyone can read a story and everyone likes to be read to, even teenagers. The end of a story is your beginning."
Bosak has received letters and e-mails from families across the country who have been encouraged to start their own keepsake tradition after reading "A Little Something." Children like the coolest new stuff, but they also have a real need for a sense of family history and connection. In the short term, you can use a keepsake to create an immediate sense of connection, and over the years it becomes a powerful symbol of that connection.
"Whenever you give a keepsake," explains Bosak, "make sure you share the story behind it -- where it came from and what it means to you. Even write about the keepsake in a letter or journal you keep in a special place. That will give the keepsake more meaning as time passes."
Some of Bosak's other tips to bring generations closer:
-- Start a family website. Children love technology and showing their skills to grandparents. Grandparents can provide a lot of the content -- important family dates like birthdays and anniversaries, funny memories and stories about parents when they were young, information for a family tree.
-- Prompt family storytelling with a game of "Did You Ever...?" Children and adults can share stories and compare memories from different times. For example, did you ever go on a boat, stay on a farm, sleep in a cabin or tent, act in a play, stay in a fancy hotel?
-- Sharing bits of your life story over time can help grandchildren get to know you. If you don't know where or how to start, the Legacy Project website has a free Fill-in-the-
-- Grandchildren can interview grandparents -- there's even a list of evocative questions on the website. Then, they can enter an essay in the Legacy Project's annual Listen to a Life Contest. The Grand Prize is a Lenovo ThinkCentre computer and $25,000 of Orchard educational software. An 8-year-old winner from last year commented that "for five years I've lived next door to my grandfather, but never took the time to get to know him as well as I did over a weekend when I interviewed him for the contest. He taught me about life, my heritage, and himself."
-- Play Family Memories Quiz Bowl with questions written on slips of paper to see who remembers past family events and experiences. Where did you go on vacation three years ago? When is Grandma and Grandpa's wedding anniversary?
-- Grandparents should get involved in their grandchildren's education, and schools should put together events to make them feel welcome. There's a complete planning guide for a school Grandparents Day event on the Legacy Project website, including reproducible invitations and activity sheets.
-- Grandparents and grandchildren should let each other know what they think is special about the other. As a keepsake on Grandparents Day or any day, download free Grandparents Are VIPs and Greatest Grandchild fill-in certificates from the Legacy Project website.
"Remember that children carry the legacy not only of what you give them, but also the void that's left by what you don't," says Bosak. "Building the grandparent connection helps you and them."
"A Little Something" by Susan V. Bosak (TCP Press, $16.95) is available in bookstores. For more information, the free online Across Generations activities and complete Listen to a Life Contest rules, visit www.legacyproject.org.
