Does Christmas Drive Couples Crackers?

PRLog (Press Release) – Dec 19, 2007 – many relationships suffer at Christmas
why, and what can be done about it?

“Accept that there is no such thing as the perfect family or the perfect Christmas” – so says Susanna Abse, Director of The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships.

It’s during the immediate post Christmas period that the counsellors and psychotherapists at the internationally-renowned Tavistock Centre note a dramatic increase in the number of couples seeking professional help with their relationship.

It’s no secret that the festive season can be a stressful time.  Overspending, being with the family far more than usual, juggling time between parents and in-laws and trying to make sure that everything’s perfect all place huge demands on a relationship.  Whilst these seasonal stresses don’t cause relationship problems in themselves, additional pressures can expose underlying cracks in a partnership.

Very often one person in the couple will feel that they have done most of the work - the presents, decorations, choosing the tree, extra food shopping and cooking – and this leads to resentment.  Conversely the other partner may be feeling excluded from the preparations and that they have no contribution to make.

“Rather than let these feelings fester, talk about them with your partner,” says Susanna.  “You may find that they’re only too pleased to either take on or give up some of the responsibility.  On a practical level it may even help to draw up a list of things that need to be done and between you allocate jobs and responsibilities.”

Most people have their own idea of ‘the perfect Christmas’ and these traditions are often strongly ingrained from our childhood experiences.  However, everybody’s ideal scenario will be different and with two people holding a different picture of what constitutes a ‘proper’ Christmas, the end result is that both partners may end up feeling disappointed and dissatisfied.

“Couples should sit down and talk about their expectations” says Susanna.  “It can be helpful to share and discuss your own childhood experiences of Christmas and maybe together you could begin to decide what kind of Christmas you want now.  Couples have to create a new family culture of their own and that takes time and means tolerating differences.”

“When problems do arise, don’t ignore them.  Communication is essential but sometimes this can be difficult.  Many people find that it can help to talk through their relationship problems with a trained professional.”

The relationship counselling and psychotherapy services offered by the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships are available to everyone irrespective of marital status, age, income, ethnicity or sexual orientation.  To find out more about the services available contact the centre by calling 020 8938 2353 or visit the website www.tccr.org.uk

ENDS

Note to editors
The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships (www.tccr.org.uk) is recognised as a world leader in the psychoanalytic understanding of adult couple relationships and provides counselling, psychosexual and psychotherapy services for couples seeking help with their relationships.  The Centre has an international reputation for the clinical and academic research it undertakes and the training courses it provides.  It is a post-graduate training body registered with the UK Council for Psychotherapy and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.  The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships is part of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology, a registered charity.

The Director of TCCR, Susanna Abse, is available for interview and comment.

Photograph of Susanna available from Jane Martin as below

Press contact:
Jane Martin at à propos
T: 020 8996 1760
jane@a-propos.co.uk