Advice for Parents: What to say when Barbie has to go Bye-Bye

PRLog (Press Release) – Dec 11, 2007 – Philadelphia, PA- Within few months, millions of toys have been recalled, from Barbie to Big Bird, because of excessive amounts of lead in paint, or small magnets that can be swallowed. With extensive lists and press coverage, it has been easy for parents to identify toys that their child may own that are dangerous. But if you own a toy on the list, how do you tell your young child that you must take away one, or several, of their favorite toys?

Below are a few tips for dealing with this difficult situation from Susan C. McGroarty, Ph.D. and Ana Caro, Psy.D., assistant professors of psychology at Chestnut Hill College:

-Be clear, and don’t lie.  Many parents feel they should “protect” their child by removing the toy without telling the child to shield them from the pain of loss.  This is usually not recommended.  Many children will ultimately figure out the toy is gone and then they may lose trust in their caregiver.  Most children are resilient enough to grieve this type of loss with the support of a caring adult.

-Consider the child’s developmental level when having the discussion. Younger children are generally satisfied with less information.

-What does the toy mean to the child?  Is there something about it that made it “special?”   IF it is special, consider asking the child if they want to be there when you put it in the bag.

-Many kids will need time to grieve a special toy before replacing it.  Be careful of sending the message to the child that losses are easily replaced. This is a great opportunity to talk about loss and how families cope in tough situations.