'Bringing families together'
The British governments are so concerned about human rights overseas that they are missing the thousands of grandparents in the UK that are so depressed and ill because of alienation from their grandchildren and families and by society. They haven’t the voice or energy to speak out for themselves. Our group’s helpline has averted suicidal thoughts from grannies living alone; they were so low, they lost the will to live. “What’s the point in trying, the government does not bother about us” this is not self pity but a deep clinical depression. More help is needed to care for grandparents who deeply feel rejected by society and family. That is why we are trying to establish a Family Information and Education Centre.
As the research shows 81% of real and psychosomatic illnesses of grandparents are because of separation from grandchildren and family. The grandparents that live alone do not realise they are ill and their quality of life is very poor. Of the ones that do consult their doctor they do not get the real time needed to discuss their problem because the doctors are so busy. Go on, seriously, ask any doctor how many grandparents he has on his list that suffer from depression.
Research into the effects on grandparents/
The effect of separation on grandparents from their grandchildren and family can lead to real distress for grandparents akin to bereavement without closure. A grandparent being interviewed said “the separation was though I’d been stabbed in the heart. I just went into deep depression. My whole life came to a stop I lost all interest in television, reading, even the garden and the house” The granny went to court and regained contact. And her health and quality of life greatly improved. This is a happy finishes to this story but the greater percent of cases do not have the same ending.
When problems arise in the family the majority of grandparents do not press through the courts to regain contact with their grandchildren because they think of the effect on the children. It is well known that continued pressure from the parents will usually win the day with contact being refused or withdrawn due to animosity between from the parents.
The latest case was the child safe guarder reported to the court that it would be harmful to stop contact as the child loved his granny The sheriff stopped the contact due to animosity. This was against the best interests of the child who is heart broken. The new boyfriend disliked the granny and won the day thanks to a sheriff who couldn’t be bothered to follow up the good work of the previous sheriff to encourage mediation for the benefit of the child. How can we promote the benefits of mediation when our judges do not..
Grandparents reported to the research that “since the loss of my grandson it has been a dreadful time mentally and physically, my heath has suffered, I don’t sleep well, and some days the pain is unbearable. Birthdays and Christmas time are devastating. I just long to give him a big hug and tell him how much I love him. What really worries me, is does my grandson think I’ve abandoned him and that I don’t love him any more, he is such a special wee boy”
Ends
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland
22 Alness Crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Photo:
http://www.prlog.org/
